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Loulou83
Casual Contributor

Delusion disorder

Hi,
My husband has recently been diagnosed with delusion disorder, I am finding it hard to deal with him and was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to cope. I'm not sure how to talk to him without becoming frustrated, he gets angry with me "why can't you believe me when I tell you that this is happening"
I am finding our local mental health team not at all helpful and just fob me off to the 24 hour phone service, is this common with other people?

45 REPLIES 45

Re: Delusion disorder

Hi @Loulou83,

Do you know if the delusions have been deemed either 'bizzare' or 'non-bizzare' by the clinician?

Re: Delusion disorder

Yes, non bizzare, which at times makes it very difficult to work out the difference from real life and a delusion, he is also very convincing. The hard part is that with the delusions come panick attacks and insomnia.
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Delusion disorder

Hi @Loulou83

Can I please say that I do tend to be quite blunt and clinical but I hope that I can offer you some practical help.

My husband had psychotic depression, this involved religious delusion. Trying to convince someone their delusion is wrong is very much like trying to argue with someone that has dementia that what they are saying is not right; learning how to handle these delusions and not enter into them can take time but life is easier when you don't.

First episode psychosis is usually, but not always an indication of s serious mental illness.

To my mind the best source if information on how to handle psychotic disorders comes from schizophrenia websites. In the "what new" tab I gave posted "60 tips for helping people who have schizophrenia" this is probably a good starting point. There are also links to YouTube sessions on talks about "loss of insight". My husband Mr Darcy has a working diagnosis of bipolar ii which is yet to be confirmed, a psychotic disorder is the alternative.

Is your husband under treatment? My advice to you is to familiarize yourself with the disorder and the treatment of it and also with the mental health act in your state. Treating teams in the public system have obligations in relation to family and carer communication.

It is important you get support for yourself. Sane has a help line and they can direct you to resources in your state, I am happy to send links too if you let me know what state you are in.

Mental illness can put a strain on the most robust of relationships, medication side effects can affect partners and there is grief and loss for both the patient and carer. Relationships can change as a patient can lose the ability to express love in the normal romantic way; it does not however mean that your partner stops loving you.

There is Qld website mhr4c.com.au which is really helpful.

I am happy to answer any questions you have.

Darcy
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Delusion disorder

Hey @Loulou83
How are you going?
Darcy

Re: Delusion disorder

Hi @Former-Member,
Thanks so much for your reply, I checked out the website you mentioned and found it great, it's nice to know I am not alone and to be able to put names to what I am going through. I tend to stay up and read everything I can find, but had limited my searches to delusion disorder, I have started to research more on all mental illness, thanks so much for your advice.
I feel I am stronger at the moment and the more I read the more I feel capable of coping, my husband seems to be getting worse, I'm trying to talk him into seeing the doctors again and stressing the importance of staying in contact with his case worker, I'm not sure what more I can do at the moment to help him.
Thanks again
Lou
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Delusion disorder

Hey @LouLou
It is a good idea to familiarize yourself with all mental health conditions and their treatments as there is quite an overlap and diagnosis can change.
At times I feel strong and able to cope but at other times it is heart breaking.
Getting the meds right can be a process itself.
Remember to take care and ensure you don't neglect yourself, it is very easy to get lost in our loved ones illness.
Darcy

Re: Delusion disorder

Hi @Loulou83 and @Former-Member,

Thought I might include the link here for Darcy's wonderful post on 60 tips for helping people with schizophrenia

Glad you're feeling stronger @Loulou83. Now is a great time to take preventative measures to avoid burning out. I have a habit of go-go-going until I have nothing left, so I need to remind myself, even when I feel great, to continue with self-care.

Stay in touch.

Re: Delusion disorder

Hi loulou,

Delusional disorder is extremely difficult to treat because the person with the condition lacks insight, which means they don't recognize that anything is wrong with them. No amount of reasoning will convince them that their beliefs aren't true. And in many cases, the person with delusional disorder is completely normal in all other aspects of their life, except when it comes to the topic of their delusion. You cannot force them into psych treatment because they cannot see they have a problem, and you cannot prove that they're a danger to themselves or others.

I've read about other people's experiences on a popular psych forum message board devoted to the topic of delusional disorder. So many of these stories are similar. Some people report that the issue was helped when their loved one took certain types of medication; others' stories have never resolved, or have ended badly, after years of coping. In many cases in that forum, the person posting is married to an individual with DD, and also is the object of the delusions.

My own relative's symptoms have gotten worse over time. And she'll talk to me for hours about her delusions. Which is very stressful for me, because she is trying to convince me that another family member is trying to gaslight/hurt/destroy her. This is not true. It zaps so much of my energy (and time!) to listen and absorb her fears (terror) and sadness over something that doesn't even exist. The best thing I can do is simply change the topic when she brings up her delusions. I know this is hard to do when you're living with the person.

Re: Delusion disorder

Hi Loulou ...My husband is actually going through the same thing. It's very stressful. Someday I feel I have one foot in one out. I'm really unsure where our marriage stands due to his illness taking over..We don't communicate like we once did, I find myself having to stop and think before I say anything remotely normal just because I feel hes analysing me and thinks /looks into things. My husband did go into a mental ward last year, was very confusing to be honest. Here's this man I married, father of our daughter, very intelligent person working in a law firm in a mental unit. We've been together for over 10 years and although hes had anxiety depression which in itself has been stressful .. but then he went through this "psychosis" where he believed so many theories.. * government targeting him* people following him/us* belived I was raped and our daughter kidnapped * cameras in our home* thinks the whole world is watching our lives on tv* myself and our 3 year old have devices on us.* feels we are doing things under duress * he belived someone was out to harm him /posion him The list continues. This has been going on for a year not as full on hes working but underneath I can tell hes still struggling. When we leave to go out on the weekend hes unusually angry /frustrated can't deal with people around .. I don't understand it still.We usually argue. I try and push him to seek help especially since he urged me to take our 3 yr old for a brain scan. Thinking shes got a device put on het from these "people".I love him so much and want to move forward but I struggle with knowing when enough is enough. He refuses help in any form as he's in denial obviously believing what his delusions are.I just don't know what more to do and if I can. Any advice?
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