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LostAngel
Senior Contributor

How things are going in general

Hello everyone its LostAngel ,currently Im feeling lot calmer and at ease,self care has been a priority and the daily crying has stopped ,tonight I treated myself to a takeout meal for dinner and some yummy ice cream for dessert ,today I havnt had to lifeline at all and it was easeier to distract myself from worrying anxcious thoughts,keeping as busy as I could,my area is currently out of lockdown for the time being,Ive got a bit going on in this week,Im always trying to self improove but maybe it was ok to cry for those couple of days to let myself feel feelings then move on from those feelings ,I might do some more reading and found that listening to relaxing music was helpfull,although I was up late last night doing some online shopping,tomorow theres a family birthday dinner to go to at a resteraunt to look forward to ,theres also appointments to go to as well,on the whole things are starting to look up again but for how long no one knows ,its been helpfull to talk to lifeline when at times feeling lonely,also trying to problem solve as much as I can and focus on the positives as much as I can ,we wont be able to visit family at there homes still as far as I know but at least we can have some sense of normal of eating a meal together in a public resteraunt,I geuss you could say food has been a comforting thing lately as well as movies reading books,talking to lifeline and listening to music,I keep trying to tell myself what I can control and what I cant control and just learning to let go of those things that are not in my control in terms of special someone I have decided the best step forward is to allow special someone some space for the time being and as much as I may feel impatient and not like having to wait thats exactly what I need to do for now,I trust and believe that he will get back to me and anyone else that he needs to get back to when he decides to for now its best to keep improovong myself on my own and get things done in the everyday and my own life that need to be acheived ,I trust his words and actions I just have to wait patiently then sometime soon he will get in contact,Im going to shift my focus from food as a comfort to buying some new clothes and start to think about,birthdy /christmas presents for my household but still take things week by week or day by day or if needed hour by hour,who knows maybe the crying was related also to lockdown stress as well as missing special someone its nearly time for sleep and Ill try to get to sleep before midnight as insonia has been the main issue that hasnt helped with things lately but then the oversleeping and strange dreams after insonia aswell ,also maybe mindfullness and deep breathing excercises might relax me thank you for all forum friends on here that keep supporting and lending advice ect Im thankfull HeartHeartHeart stay safe and rest well

3 REPLIES 3

Re: How things are going in general

Wonderful testimony, LostAngel, thanks for sharing. 

Re: How things are going in general

Thanks for Sharing @LostAngel 

 

Maybe the old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder will be the one that works for your special someone.  

Re: How things are going in general

thats true from my end @AussieRecharger miss him alot,so much so Ive spent days silently crying cause I genuinely miss and care about him,hopefully he feels something for me still,theres so much I havnt said as yet ect hope he comes back soon but for now I have no choice but to focus on things at hand,its just the fact we havnt seen eachother for a month cause of covid and other reasons that he got to me so bad ,I do care for him alot,heck at times I think maybe I have fallen for him ,I dont think he quite gets the differnce he has made,motivation ,encouragement ect but for now I fly alone till hopefully he flys back again so to speak ,for now I just have to continue to be patient and wait surely we will talk in person and spend time together soon theres a few things I need to ,want to say and explain he is more than enough for me,he is so caring ,its hard to write everything out cause theres heaps of thoughts in my mind about him,thinking about him has not left my mind,each day I think of him but its not infatuation thinking its more a admire,deep apreciation of who he is as a person,his character,values,actions ect cause as the other old saying goes actions speak louder than words ,his always shown good actions,that match his words ,I on the other hand have not been the best at expressing how I feel

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