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Something’s not right

Lemonjuice
Senior Contributor

Abuse

Today, I got verbally abused by my nephew and again tonight.  I was up at 5am, I had to take him to the station at 7am. I did not know that.  When he had not gotten up by 7.30, I went to check on him. Apparently, it was my fault that he slept in. We got in the car and he decided that rather than taking the next train, he decided that I needed to drive him to work, some 40 minutes away.  All the way, he was telling me off for everything, going too slow, not breaking rules, etc.  Then this afternoon, I got a message from him to go to the the station and pick him up.  Same on the way home, abusive all the way home.  He threw the keys at me cause I wasn't fast enough giving them to him before.  I've even been forced to take his demerit points, he was driving 30 kms above the limit.  I'm scared of him.  I'm holding on to the thought that the house will be sold in the next 2 months and then I never want to see him again.  I love him, I know he has his own issues, but he is making me suicidal.

10 REPLIES 10
Whitehawk
Senior Contributor

Re: Abuse

Hi @Lemonjuice  

 

It is a terrible account you give of the abuse and disrespect you suffered today. Your love for your family member shines through. I really hope you do not let it get you too down between now and the time you can get away, Are you able to keep yourself safe this evening? Please feel free to reach out for support if you are thinking or hurting yourself.

 

take care

Whitehawk

Re: Abuse

@Whitehawk  I am trying to stay calm.  Going to wash the dog and go to bed.  It's hard, I want to suicide, I want to runaway, I want hurt myself, but I am holding on, trying to remind myself of all the reasons I need to be ok.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it gets bad and I end up hurting myself.  I have things to do, no suicide, no hospital.😖

BlueBay
Senior Contributor

Re: Abuse

I'm sorry reading how your nephew treats you @Lemonjuice  its so disrespectful. 
how old is he? Can you put some boundaries down with reg to his behaviour towards you. That's verbal abuse. 
I can see you love him and once the house is sold you won't need to see him. 
Pls stay safe. You are a very worthy person. 
thinking of you. Hope your dog had a good wash. 

Re: Abuse

@BlueBay thanks.  He's 19, but there's always been an issue with him controlling his anger.  In the last six years or so, it's gotten worse. I went from having a young child, cheeky, cute, playful, but easily upset, to a gaslighting, narcissistic, explosive young adult.  It doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters, just want to get out of here.

 

My puppy had a great bath, he doesn't much like them, but he ain't staying in my room without one, 'stinky' doesn't really express it!

 

 

BlueBay
Senior Contributor

Re: Abuse

Gee that's tough @Lemonjuice 

he should know better 

to treat you with respect 

it's very hard 

 

but you care for yourself first

your health is very important 

 

❤️❤️

Re: Abuse

@BlueBay I will try.  Thanks.

Owlunar
Senior Contributor

Re: Abuse

Hi @Lemonjuice 

 

No wonder you are feeling so stressed - I only got a glimsp of this in your other post - and you don't have to put up with abuse like that - wow - your nephew is lucky you picked him up in the afternoon after the way he treated you in the morning

 

I don't know if I have mentioned to you that I had a son who couldn't take responsibility for himself either and of course I loved him but I had to practise tough-love with him - I know how this feels - we are not responsible for what other people don't tell us even if we love them and we want to help them - that's really hard for you

 

I'm glad the house will be sold and you don't have to see him again - you love him but you certainly dont like his behaviour - this is actually where tough-love starts

 

I hope you can feel safe and that you have things to do rather than suicide - this time will pass and hopefully life will be better once the house is sold

 

Dec

Re: Abuse

@Owlunar thanks. To be honest, I should be in hospital, resting and being taken care of and kept safe, but that would happen in a perfect world...this isn't a perfect world.  I keep myself going with the thought that in two months, I will be free and that this is the last time that I will be sorting out my parents' hoarded crap.  I loved them dearly, but they just kept collecting things over the years, just incase they could use it and then refused to get rid of anything cause they might need it.  I've been sorting, fixing and saving everyone in my family since I was six.  I'm done.  This will be my parting gift to them, to sort out all their things, give them closure.  Then I will sort out my stuff.

Re: Abuse

I Hope everything is going okay there just sending support your way!

 

Sylvester

SANE Moderator 

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