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Not a family member- how can i get him help?

Hi, im desperately seeking advice as to what i can do in my situation. I'll give you a basic run-down: 

My partners younger sibling (18 years old) is extremely mentally unwell and has been for over a year. His condition has and is deteriorating rapidly, but he is not recieving help. He has not been diagnosed, but he perfectly fits the criteria of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (both of which his mum has). He is extremely suspiscious of everybody and everything; he has stated before that the 'streets are after him'; he is awake til the early hours of the morning; he's renowned for disappearing on walks alone at random hours; he constantly talks/swears/yells at himself all day; he has not showered in weeks and his head is caked in dandruff; he consistently randomly shaves all of his hair off; he says he feels emotionless- plus much more. He is also extremely aggresive and very quick to anger, even more so when he drinks. This aggression caused myself and my partner to move away from him 6 months ago, and the weeks prior to us leaving, my partner and myself didn't sleep til 4/5am every night, fearing he would cause us harm while we slept. He has physically hurt my partner, he got in my face and tried to intimidate me after accussing me of writing posts about him, and he constantly argues with his mum, where he also gets in her face, yells and swears. He even told her that her cowering made him wilder. 

His parents, as well as my partner, are not getting him help, i think due to 1) being afraid of him, 2) not knowing how to get help and assuming police will be involved, and 3) they arent educated about mental illness and arent recognising the signs and symptoms. I tried bringing it up to his mum once and she immediately shut me off. They've stated that they don't want to have to call the police on him because he will be charged and convicted (he has had aggresive drunk run ins with police before, when he was underage). He does not believe he has mental health issues. 

I'm at a loss as to what i can do. He seems to be getting worse as every day passes, but no one will help him and he himself will not seek help. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated, and i apologise for the novel!


Re: Not a family member- how can i get him help?

Hi @Jmb1, if your partners mum wont call the police I dont know what you can do. Im glad you moved to keep yourself safe. For your own mental health try and detach yourself from the situation and accept that you cant change other people only yourself. This is an awful situation and I feel for you and your family, hang in there.

Re: Not a family member- how can i get him help?

@Jmb1  Hey Jmb1 and welcome to the forums. Basically there is nothing you can do until he becomes a danger to himself or others then the police and mental health services become involved.  He certainly sounds ill but until the above happens nothing can be done unless he somehow has the clarity to seek help himself which by the sounds of it will no happen any time soon.


My advice is the same as @SuzieQ 's that is to stay away and look after your partner particularly as you feel the brother is a threat. Sorry I cannot help in your situation. greenpea


Re: Not a family member- how can i get him help?

Welcome to the forums @Jmb1, it sounds like you are going through a tough time, especially having to take safety precautions. How does your partner feel about the situation? Do they have the same attitude as their parents? It's definitely hard to deal with, especially without the support of your partner in flagging the issue with their parents. 

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