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Meds can take a while to work (varies between patients) and it is important to understand that they are not a cure but rather the goal is to reduce the severity of mood swings enabling a patient to function better. Not all meds work for all patients either so it can often be trial and error to find something that works and is acceptable (a lot of trial and error in our case 😬.) My Mr Darcy has a paper mood chart to monitor his moods but there are online apps available too. Mr D is not at all medically literate and I am the one that keeps an eye on interactions for the meds he is on - i.e. should the need arise for pain relief (NSAIDs are out), antifungals are another potential problem for us - you can check the CMI for this.
Meds are not without side effects and this can lead to non compliance in a lot of patients. While the risk.v benefit should have been explained to your man (along with the necessary monitoring needed) it is important to have open communication on the subject as there are a few options available. As you are possibly aware the word 'recovery' is used in MI whereas 'remission' is probably more reflective of what is achievable.
Whilst one on one therapy sessions have not been started, hopefully the premise of taking responsibility to take steps to manage ones disorder is being instilled. Having a safe place whether it be group or individual counseling where learning how to move forward and not be stuck in the dysfunctional responses as a result of childhood trauma is an integral part of the recovery process and hopefully psychology sessions will be set up prior to discharge.
BP is a bit like diabetes in that to maximize wellness it takes more than just meds to manage the condition. Lifestyle factors such as sleep hygiene, alcohol restriction, exercise, stress reduction etc. all make a difference. Looking at what can be gained from these changes rather than focussing on loss can be helpful.
There is a lot of grief in a diagnosis both for the patient and their carer. Accepting the new reality can be difficult. As you say we want our old husband's back. The approach that worked best for was reassuring my husband I was there for him, I would support and encourage him to live well in spite of his diagnosis, tackling issues together as they crop up. It is not all doom and gloom and there is still enjoyable life to be had.
Setting boundaries around what is and is not acceptable behaviour might be necessary to help protect ones heart. Things done in depression are often easier to forgive than the excessive spending, sexual transgressions or other offences done in mania.
Coming on the forum to vent is one of the ways a lot of us carers deal with the negative emotions. There are also social threads as we often need things to lighten things up a bit as the cares we have can be a bit heavy duty, are you a dog or cat person?
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