Managing boundaries and triggers with friends.

[Tarmac_6]

Hi @tyme, Thankyou for checking in. I’ve been going ok though I definitely think the situation has spiked my anxiety a bit as it’s just brought up old things I hadn’t thought about in a while. We had a good chat where I wasn’t completely honest but I did tell her I was having a rough couple of days and she was supportive. I have therapy in a couple days so I’ll also talk about it then. Thanks for all your support 🙂

[tyme]

It's such an amazing start. Often, people start to even raise the conversation and they may not be used to it. But the fact that you were able to share that you weren't feelnig the best ensured there wasn't any fault-finding or blaming. 

Our gut tends to tell us whether it's the 'right' time to share what you need to or wait. Sometimes, we may need a bit of encouragement, but you will know when you can or can't share.

I look forward to hearing how the therapy session goes. I hope you will be able to get some things off your chest, or to even just have a sounding board for your thoughts.

Well done @Tarmac_6 

Take care, and I look forward to hearing from you!

[Tarmac_6]

Hey @tyme, not sure if I should or not but I thought I’d let you know how therapy went. It was an emotional session but good as it brought up a lot of unresolved feelings from the past that we’re going to start to work through. It was nice to be validated and be told that none of my feelings were wrong and she reminded me that taking one night off to look after myself isn’t letting anyone down. Still a long way to go but definitely a good start. 

[tyme]

ditto @Tarmac_6 

Thank you so so sooo much for reaching out and sharing a little update about how your session went. 

Sometimes, it's these sessions that really help us reflect on what we are currently doing well and waht we co do to move forward.

How are you feeling after the session? Do you have another session booked in?

[Tarmac_6]

I’m feeling good @tyme, a little bit overwhelmed with my emotions but overall ok. And yes I do, I’m going fortnightly at the moment 🙂

[tyme]

Does it help to write a few things down between sessions? @Tarmac_6 

Sometimes, between sessions, I used to get this feeling, "Ooo! I need to speak to my therapist".. then by the time it's my appointment, I forget. 

How has the boundary-setting been going for you?

[Tarmac_6]

Yeah I think I need to write down stuff and I have been trying to. My psychologist said that she wanted me too as well. I sort of explained how I had been feeling but didn’t say exactly why to my friend as I thought that was the best way to go about it and she’s definitely being a bit more aware. I think it’s just all a process and I can notice how it’s affecting me now at least without trying to push it down and pretend it doesn’t exist. I really appreciate you continually checking in on me. @tyme 

[tyme]

I'm glad i have the privilege of checking in with you @Tarmac_6 

Thinking back to my own MH journey, it was important I had people around me who would check-in once in a while. It can really boost someone's spirits.

I'm mindful that what's going on for you is a journey. It is not a quick fix. 

I really hope the connection you feel is helpful. Please let us know if it's not helpful as we wouldn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

As for communicating with your friend, I guess it's about sharing what you are comfortable with but also being okay that you don't have to share everything. 

I hope writing down some quick notes will be helpful for you.

[Tarmac_6]

Hey @tyme, it definitely helps Thankyou! I feel less alone to be honest. I hope I’m not oversharing too much though 🙂

[tyme]

Share what you are comfortable with. If you have questions about what you can/can't share, you can refer to our guidelines or ask us at team@saneforums.org

@Tarmac_6 

I used to be a regular member on these forums. There were times when I needed staff to guide my posting because I'd unintentionally posted in breach of guidelines. So look, it happens sometimes, but the moderators will guide you 🙂

Thank you so much for sharing. I responded to you in your new thread about how you feel at the moment.