Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

Tomorrow morning I see a new therapist with my gf as a joint session. Don't worry folks, it isn't relationship counselling as our relationship is great. Just my gf suggested I go along so we can better understand each other's issues and therefore provide the best supportive environment we can.

I'm nervous, like really nervous. I know I'll be encouraged to speak, but it takes me AGES to open up to  someone like that and usually then, I dont fully open up until I know them really really well. What if she treats me like a freak like my last therapist did? I'd tell my last therapist about my symptoms of schizophrenia and they'd always call the hospital and ask for admission as they thought I was either psychotic or suicidal. All because every single day I hear voices telling me to harm myself. I haven't actually harmed myself in some time (by 'harm' I mean an attempt on my life). I was always taken involuntarily by police because I didn't think I needed hospitalisation. This caused a lot of trauma and upheaval in my life as you can imagine.

Should I give this therapist the benefit of the doubt and go, or should I cancel?

[Former-Member]

My opinion @Queenie and it's only my opinion is you go. But you know your boundaries as maybe tell your gf before you go so she knows what to expect and that there are some lines. If it is a more than once thing you'll work it out as you go. This is you learning about each other which I think is fabulous but you don't have to throw everything on the table in one visit. By not going you miss the chance to learn and understand more about her too. I'd just let her know that not everything will be on the table straight up. She can still learn more about you I'm sure in this session without you having to disclose anything. Just my thoughts. Not sure what others think💜😊

[Queenie]

Hi @Former-Member, yes you're probably right there in that I should go as it will give me an opportunity to learn about my gf.

Righto, mind made up -- I'll go 🙂

[Kurra]

Hi @Queenie,
I'd go tomorrow but I don't think it would be a good idea to continue that way. It could certainly create a conflict of interest for the psychologist. Which partner to support kind of thing.

I know that I need to speak quite openly with my psychologist and sometimes there can be things you might not mention to your partner because you know it would worry them stupid. You know it's OK to do this. In fact at times it is a kindness.

If you're ringing around to find a new psychologist Google the thoroughly and if you can speak to the person on the phone quiz them about what experience they have in working with schizophrenia. This is exactly what I did 6 years ago and the whole psychologist /client relationship has worked out perfectly in every respect.

Take care. I really hope today has been a better one for you. 🎶💕

[Appleblossom]

I think it is a great idea to go. @Queenie Your girlfriend trusts this person so it could be good to think of her as an extension  and support to her ... but open to you as you are the significant other in your love relationship. Maybe only go when it feels right for you and for your gf.

I tend to agree with @Kurra re the conflict of interests.  I have had 3 situations which my ex husband and I attended together ... with all the good will and expertise in the world ... they were not up to the task. 

You certainly dont need your own therapist to catastrophise your situation. it creates unnecessary drama to satisfy their own sense of importance and is a big waste of taxpayers money, let alone all the horrendous added trauma for you. I hope you have found someone better suited.  Dont settle. Theres a heap out there ... have some sense that your needs can be met in the community as an outpatient with the appropriate therapist. Keep hoping and keep looking.