Lived Experience Forum

[Lotusgirl]

🙂

Im having a bad day. I know that they say "thoughts are just thoughts." How do we know a thought is just a thought. And what if the thought occurs when you're doing something innocent and this most horrible thought pops in? For example holding a baby and a graphic thought comes in what do you do?

[esprit]

Just read your post. I hope your day is getting better. I don't know what to do about bad thoughts either. I know myself though and if I thought I would act on them I would certainly try to seek out some help. Wishing you better days. X

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lotusgirl

sounds very confusing and like its really worrying you. I would say a thought is just a thought until it becomes an action. If you are worried that something terrible is going to become an action then it might mean you need to share with someone in real life whats happening for you. 

Thoughts dont make you bad and there might be a reason for the thought that has little to do with the thought... i'm sure if this is not at all the same but i always seeem to find myself thinking that people around me are not happy with me. they're upset with me for some reason and i worry about it too much. usually it turns out that its all ok and it was nothing. For me, i think im just so anxious all the time that i'll do soemthing wrong, that i'll stuff everything u and everyone will hate me.. sigh! insecure much?!? lol doh!

Would it be possible to phone lifeline or a friend to help you talk through these thoughts you're having and check to see what else you might do?

lj

[Lotusgirl]

I just feel bad that the thoughts pop in when Im handling bub or dealing with bub. Im like woah okay - there are you hello. And then I wil lsometimes forget what the thought was or pay it no mind. But still, the fcat I even had it makes me cringe. 

[Former-Member]

glad that the thought sounds like it passes without being too bothersome at the time. I still wonder if it would be worth talking to someone about it, might ease your mind if nothing else,

lj 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lotusgirl

It's great that you can talk with us on the forum about these intrusive thoughts you have about handling your baby. I remember having a good discussion about it with you and others maybe two weeks ago when your were asking about the "football" hold.

As you are aware, these intrusive thoughts are part of your anxiety condition and it sounds like you are using some good tools to manage them like identifying them "strange" as soon as they pop into your mind, and ignoring them or trying to distract yourself.  The fact that you have these thoughts does not make you a bad person or suggest that you would act upon them. 

Try to work on lessening the power of these thoughts by ridiculing or "diffusing" them. For example, a client I worked with had health anxiety and most times she felt a strange sensation in her body, she had crazy thoughts about having cancer. She had young children at home and we devised a strategy for her to clap and sing about these thoughts: "If it's crazy and you know it, clap your hands". (I think this song - if you're happy and you know it - comes from Playskool or somewhere).

Anyway for two weeks, whenever she had these anxious thoughts, she would clap and sing, often with her children, who found it hilarious. After that she only needed to say the song in her head, and clap if the anxious thoughts were strong. Over time they decreased and weren't a problem.

Try the diffusion strategy yourself. As @Former-Member said, a thought is only a thought, and it's only true if we believe it or act upon it. 

Wishing you a great week ahead,

Frog

[Lotusgirl]

Yes I was speaking the other week about the football hold. I never want to harm anyone. When I do the football hold sometimes bad thoughts just pop in out of nowhere because I am so amped up and anxious and "new" to this hold and I worried a fair bit about it prior to trying it so my brain was primed for intrusive thoughts, if that makes sense. I can't even remember all I think half the time when I do the football hold, but is it even relevant if this hold is so common and universal and harmless?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lotusgirl

As we discussed previously, there is no need to worry about the football hold and it does not harm a baby in any way. All good. 

Did you do something nice today with your family?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lotusgirl, I know what you mean about random disturbing thoughts. Its grightening they can actually start in our own head. Its easy to judge ourselves harshly for having such horrible thoughts - but it doesn't mean we have to get hooked by it or dwell on it or take it further or think that we are horrible or evil. I've come to BLAME BLACKDOG (depressive illness)/for such thoughts, they're not me but faulty brain chemistry.

Another possibility - like dreaming - the mind comes to terms with new experiences or fears by presenting the opposite. Kinda of test or a preperation (what if?). The subconscious searches for possible harm that could come so you can take steps to protect, a kind of a challenge to your resolve and instinct to do everything to protect bub from any and all harm. What's your greatest fear?

So you see, there's many reasons why such thoughts cone. We don't have to understand it, just let it pass (like traffic on the highway) and eventually it will go away.

Also, just in case its some kind of Post Partum Depression, where self evaluation coud be difficult - it might be good to see a psychologist. Be the best the best mum you can be for bub. Just get a Care Plan Referral from your GP.
Holding you in the light 🙂

[Bridgetjones]

Im thinking that you may have some degree of OCD as intrusive disturbing thoughts that you describe are a part of OCD. I have OCD and experience same thing as you are going through. Wishing you good luck xx