Lived Experience Forum

[AaaaahBlaaaaah]

Hello, I’m brand new to SANE and this forum, this being my first ever post.

i apologise if this subject has been covered already in previous discussions. While I did have a light dive into previous posts, it was all a bit too much and right now I’m quite in need of connecting with peers on this matter.

I want to start by saying, I have worked in MH and disabilty for decades, I am very well informed and have excellent insight into my well-being. I’ve participated in 20+ years of therapy and was prescribed SSRIs for 10 years which did not stop my having depressive episodes, but did make me numb, obese and led to other health issues. SSRIs damaged my physical health and self esteem, which is quite depressing! 

I’ve recently been on a convoluted journey to seek an ADHD assessment with a clinical psychiatrist. That journey has been Re-traumatising. Long waits, last minute cancellations by providers, feeling coerced, gaslight, haemorrhaging money, my preference for female clinician being steamrolled…

Finally I had an appt with a male clinical psychiatrist, who accepted the ADHD assessment referral. I was experiencing heightened emotions on the day due being forced to change clinicians at the last minute, (the same clinic had also cancelled the psychology appt scheduled for the following week) and I was very emotional during the session. The clinician led the discussion by asking questions. I don’t believe my answers were completely accurate or just a reflection of my state in that moment. After 20 minutes, the clinician put up his hand, said, “I’m going to cut you off there, I think you have CPTSP and BPD.”

Excuse me?! What about the ADHD assessment that I’m here for?! He went on to inform me that would be done by one of their psychologists, for $2-3000 100% put of pocket and then if I needed actual treatment I’d go back to him at $500/session.

i had not even had the opportunity to discuss ADHD traits, his questions all being related to past traumas etc. 

I feel gaslight and I refuse to accept these “diagnoses” until I’ve had the opportunity to have the ADHD assessment I have requested. Quite frankly the “diagnoses” feel like a cop out. “Every one and their dog thinks they have ADHD these days…” That’s right, and a vast majority of them are women. BPD was added to the DSM the same year Hysteria was removed from the DSM. Coincidence? 

yes there’s been trauma, but is that a result of undiagnosed ADHD, dopamine seeking behaviours and cycles of burnt out from the exertion of masking and over compensating?
As a consumer, I should be able to access the service I request, to be the one driving this journey, and at least given the opportunity to be heard. 

Are there any other women out there who have experienced / are experiencing similar? I’m keen to connect with you.

[GardensHeart]

Hi @AaaaahBlaaaaah ,

Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your stories.. Sorry you have to experience that, not being heard is a terrible feeling, not to mentioned not receiving the help you were suppose to get... 

I hope you will be able to find someone who share similar feelings as you and get some support. If you need anything from us, don't hesitate to ask! 

[Eve7]

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time with getting an assessment @AaaaahBlaaaaah. Those costs are exorbitant and I'm astonished at them. I'm not sure what else to say other than to ask is there a particular reason that you need a specific diagnosis right now?

If you are able it may be more beneficial to look around for a practitioner who is more interested in you as a person.

Welcome to the forum and I hope someone here is helpful.

[lavenderhaze]

Hey @AaaaahBlaaaaah,

First of all, welcome to the forums, and thank you for reaching out. 🙂

I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing in seeking an ADHD assessment. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I can imagine how frustrating and disheartening it must be to feel like your concerns aren't being heard or taken seriously.

Understandably, you feel frustrated with the way your appointment went. We need to feel heard and respected, especially regarding our health and well-being. It's not fair for anyone to dismiss your concerns or jump to conclusions without fully exploring all possibilities, including the ADHD assessment you've requested.

Your experience highlights some of the systemic issues within the healthcare system, particularly when it comes to mental health and neurodiversity. It's unfortunate that many people, especially women, face barriers when trying to access the care and support they need.

You have every right to advocate for yourself and seek the care you believe is best for you. I wish it weren't this difficult.

Please know that we're here to support you in any way we can. I hope other community members who have faced similar struggles will share their wisdom with you. 

@PizzaMondo made a post with some books on neurodiversity in women that you might like - https://saneforums.org/t5/Useful-resources/Engaging-Neurodivergent-Reads/m-p/1475908/highlight/true#...
Sitting with you ❤️

[Eden1919]

@AaaaahBlaaaaah  i was misdiagnosed with BPD when it is actually autism for years they were just blaming everything on BPD and to this day that wrong label follows me around like a bad stink but the drs who gave me that didnt even try and understand me properly anyway it happens more than it should and you are fully entitled to a second opinion. 

[8ppleTree]

Hi @AaaaahBlaaaaah 

I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you to go through the process of being assessed. Not being respected or heard, particularly throughout a process that is meant to have a care/healing focus is concerning. 

There are too many barriers that people face when trying to get their lives in balance, find answers or just get the right supports they need to be successful. 

I can only say 'don't give up, and trust yourself'. There will be someone who is willing to assess you. Sometimes, it's helpful to write out your points that you'd like to discuss, or take a friend or support person with you. A lot of clinicians don't understand how frustrating the process has been for people who walk through that door on the day, they don't understand that the person is feeling desperate for help, heightened emotions, and some men just can't understand the barriers that some woman face, etc. 

So, feel free to continue to reach out. Write down your points. Get another assessment with a woman if you need, you do have choice. It's your money. 

Wishing you all the best, and feeling for you. Respect x 

[tyme]

Hey @AaaaahBlaaaaah ,

How are you today? I've just caught up on reading your post and I'm sorry you had trouble getting the service you requested. 

Seeing you are the paying customer, I'm curious to understand why the formal assessment was not done?

I recognise how traumatic and upsetting this would have been for you.

We are here if you need a chat.

[Doldip15]

Hello Aaaaah Blaaaaah

welcome and so sorry to hear your story! I spent 18 months trying to find a psychiatrist of any gender who would treat my grandson with diagnosed ASD, ADHD, Depression and Anxiety and GP wanted him diagnosed Bipolar! It’s a crazy search with so many clinics rejecting on ASD alone! 
My psychiatrist recently told me that ADHD will not be diagnosed in the public health system and certainly won’t be treated in the public health system! How crazy is that? A condition that seriously impairs a person’s ability to structure and manage everyday life! My daughter has both forms of ADHD and anyone of my relatives can describe the insanity of trying to conduct a conversation or formulate a plan with her when not on medication as it’s like having 3 conversations at once which she seems to think is normal but leaves the rest of us lost and confused! I empathise totally with your frustration as you’re entitled to diagnosis and adequate treatment to help with life!

keep plaguing your GP too for an appropriate referral! 
Kind regards 

@Doldip15

[tyme]

Hey @AaaaahBlaaaaah ,

Not sure if you got the tag above for @Doldip15 's post to you?

Hope you get a chance to read it 🙂

[AaaaahBlaaaaah]

Thank you 🙂