Lived Experience Forum

[Molly13]

Hi Everyone 

I havnt had stable employment for over 3 years now and it's really weighing down on my self esteem. I find myself having nothing to do and relying on my partner to get me to do things. My depression is quite bad as I can't seem to get motivation to do much at all especially during the day. I don't have many close friends either and my family live far from me. I've tried a few different jobs in the past 3 years and either have quit or been let go. I can't seem to get much enjoyment out of my life and find my self sleeping in bed most the day if my partner is busy. All I want is to feel like I have a purpose and would be nice to have some stable income. Please if anyone has any suggestions on what I could do please let me know. I dread my days when I wake up and I feel like I'm going no where. I'm nearly 30 years old 

[tyme]

Hey @Molly13 ,

I'm sorry to hear how hard things are for you in terms of employment. I recognise that not having stable employment and income can really pull one down. 

Would you consider some volunteer work until you can get started, and look for work in the meanwhile?

What are some of your hobbies and interests?

[Molly13]

My hobbies and interests include pole fitness dancing I have been doing it for a number of years now and fortunatly with my unemployment pay I can afford it as I don't pay rent. Other interests include fitness and health. 

I love music too. But other than that I don't have many more interests. I would like to get some more hobbies. I'm not really interested in volunteering. I would rather seek a job but over my years of working (since I was a 14) I have tried many different jobs and been out in the world only to realise how you can be mistreated and how the world we live in can be corrupt. I have horrible managers been bullied and sexually harrased at work. I'm now in a place where I don't know what job I want and have to keep searching to find the right job where it pays fairly and people don't mistreat me. I left my last job as I couldn't handle working with one of the other employees there anymore as they made me feel quite anxious and stressed due to their behaviour. I find alot of people in this world today can be arrogant or controlling towards me in the workplace. I don't like dealing with people and that's another reason why I don't have a job. My anxieties take over when dealing with people. 

[tyme]

Thanks for sharing about your hobbies and interests. @Molly13 

I'm so sorry that you have been so unfairly treated at work. It sounds like you have been a hard worker all your life and want to continue doing so. It is absolutely understandable that you are looking for some stable income as well as a safe workplace.

Have you looked into jobs online or over the phone? Not sure what there is out there that fits what you are looking for. But since COVID, many places have hybrid systems in place where people can work from home. Or are you someone who wants to get out to work?

[MermaidHair]

Hey @Molly13 welcome to the forums, I'm really glad you're here!

I really feel you with your struggle with low self esteem, low motivation and guilt for having to rely on others from being out of work. It is so hard! I'm currently job searching myself and I haven't been in the workforce properly for several years now.

Something that won't help with the money side of things, but has helped me tremendously with the motivation, confidence and self esteem side of things is volunteering! The best part about volunteering is you can suit it to your likes and interests, for example I'm passionate about helping people, complex mental health, children and my community, so all my volunteering is centred around these things. There are volunteer roles in almost anything you can think of, whether sports, hobby, medical, people or animal related etc, the opportunities are endless. It can also give you skills and experience that lead to different or better employment.

Hope things start looking up for you soon and that you'll come back here to chat or vent as you need 💜

[Molly13]

thank you

yes I have worked hard all my life and would like to get back into the workforce to have purpose and atleast have something to do everyday and have money! 

No I havnt looked into online jobs most of my life I have worked in hospitality, disability and aged care, reception, bushcare, nannying and in the adult entertainment industry . I don't know if I would have the skills for working at home but that is something I would be interested in. 

[Molly13]

Hi Mermaidhair 

Thank you for reaching out. Yes it is hard to rely on others and my partner gets disappointed in me as he believes I'm not trying hard enough and doesn't understand why I jave low self esteem as he thinks I'm a great person. And I am a good hearted person but unfortunately in this world being kind and good hearted doesn't get you far in the world of employment I feel.  

I will look into some volunteering but while being on centrelink etc they expect you to look for work. That does sound great though and may help fill in my days. Is it good to find volunteering opportunities on seek? 

[tyme]

I'm not sure if they have volunteering opportunities on seek. I've never looked @Molly13 .

If you find out, I'd be keen to know!

[tyme]

How are you today @Molly13 ?

[Jasper_123]

Hey @Molly13 I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling so much for the past few years. I was in this state a few years ago when I dropped out of school due to my mental health. For myself I had to force myself to get out of the depression routine (which like you had me sleeping through the day and up through the night). I think we it's easy to feel inspired during the late night hours when everything is in front of you and you can't actually do any of the things you dream up. 

If you imagine the life you want, what is it? 
What steps can you take towards this? 

I think with something like depression it's starting small and building routines - you see this when people build habits for example going to the gym. 

Initially you might start by simply driving to the gym at the same time every day, then you might go in for ten minutes and build from there. 

When it comes to staying in bed all day I think we need to start smaller - when you get up for water, put on your shoes and go for a walk or move to the couch or even stretching in bed. Building small positives, talk positively to yourself. Are you on medication or do you go to therapy?