Lived Experience Forum

[Cocoloco]

I feel lost. Such paranoia

i did it all right 

though I still mess it up

i run away 

I get somatic symptoms 

physical too

i am so weird. My eyesight goes blurry 

I have a bit of autonomic issues glaucoma early onset though it’s functional. It’s rare though it’s from dissociative aetiology

i can’t function. My weakeness gets weaker 

my swallowing gets worse. I can’t breathe. I can’t speak I can’t move 

it absorbs me 

I have physical issues. I have health issues though in all of it it’s this. It’s paralysing, 

it’s stolen life. In everything else I adapt. I am sure I can to this to

i am learning 

who has done this too? Or is trying? Shaky steps. 

[Jynx]

@Cocoloco shaky steps are still steps my friend, and it sounds like you've got a gut full of determination. How are you travelling this evening, here to chat if you wanna get anything off your chest 😊

May your road become easier to travel 💜

[Cocoloco]

So painful! It’s hard without bad habits 

I am taking responsibility and not reacting

Being responsible 

Taking the right steps to recovery 

it’s painful still. Trauma cuts deep 

it’s so hard to focus 

I miss who I was 

I am so wanting to do everything 

I miss out on so much in these times where I am lost 

though I need to take the moments as they come 

there is joy and freedom knowing 

it will be over 

I can make it and so can my kids 

I can be calm 

I deserve better 

thanks for your support 

[Jynx]

You're welcome @Cocoloco. It is very hard to build new habits, for sure. But we get better at it every time we practice, and atfer a while new skills and habits become second nature too. 

It's okay to grieve for who you were before. To pay homage to the parts of you lost or broken. It's also important, in my experience, to spend time nurturing who you are becoming. Which it sounds like you are doing, with such conviction in yourself, your family, and your knowledge that you deserve better. Inspiring stuff, thank you for sharing 💜

[Xibon]

Hey @Cocoloco 

Thanks for the thread, and for sharing your experience and feelings with us. I also want to say that you articulate yourself beautifully.

It's incredible to hear the words you have about knowing you will 'make it' and that you see a future for yourself and your kids. I also want to commend you for recognising your worth; you do deserve better.

Thanks for positing, this brought a smile to my face

💛🌻