Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Lavender3]

Hi, I'm living with a partner who has ptsd. I have tried to be supportive, but he is so self absorbed and is shutting me out. He doesn't like to be touched as he says he doesn't feel anything and I remind him of who he used to be, and he is not that person anymore. I have always ask for a hug and I van feel he doesn't like doing it. Everything has changed so much. He has lied, walked out lots of times, got verbally aggressive.  I just don't feel wanted or needed

[tyme]

Hi @Lavender3 ,

I'm sorry to hear this is happening. It sounds so difficult and it's understandable that you feel unimportant and left out.

It sounds like your old partner is not the one that is speaking. It sounds like mental health has really affected him. Do you think there are signs of depression?

I'm wondering if he would go and speak to a GP about what is happening for him?

At the same time, please look after yourself. Your own self-care to help you and your partner through this is so important. Take time out for yourself to do things that you enjoy. And remember that it is his current mental health that is speaking and not himself.

[Messylife]

I don't know if can help seeing I am doing what your husband seems to doing and I don't have PTSD. All I can say is I seek different kind of support now. Where I used need just a hug and physical validation, now I need action and a real hand up. Sometimes you are not the person to do this. I am sorry. I know it must hurt you to feel hopeless in the situation. I hope he not abusing you though. He, like me, may be shut down but the real him is still inside. That I feel sure of.

[tyme]

How are you today @Lavender3 ?

We are thinking of you.

[Lavender3]

Yes, it dies hurt. I've offered support in any way I am able. He seems determined to do things alone, although he is not handling things well at all. I realise the real him is still on there, but will it ever emerge again?