Lived Experience Forum

[Captain24]

I tried again to call @lavenderhaze but just couldn’t. I did do chat though. It was a little helpful but I wasn’t completely honest. I’m too scared to be in case they called someone. 

I have screamed and punched my pillow. I’ve scribbled on paper and tore it to shreds. It got some out but the pain is still really intense and all consuming.

[lavenderhaze]

I understand @Captain24, usually with most mental health services emergency services are called if someone is believed to be at immediate risk. I know sometimes it's not a pleasant experience for the person involved but it's only done to keep people safe.

You can be honest about where you are at and talk about suicidal thoughts if you're having them. 

Sounds like you're in a lot of pain, are there any other strategies that can help get some of those feelings out of your system? Does journaling help?

I usually blast music and jump around if I am feeling intense emotions.

[Captain24]

I did try to journal but that is where I just scribbled and ripped the pages. @lavenderhaze.

I don’t feel like I can be honest about the thoughts I’m having. 

I’ll give music a try. I can’t have it too loud, Pix doesn’t like it. I’m not sure that Jett will either. But some is a start. 

[lavenderhaze]

aw of course the fur babies might be a bit confused seeing you jump around like that haha maybe using earphones will be easier for them

I just shared this video in another thread and it brought me so much comfort so I thought I'd share it with you too - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6JywqPrmOs&ab_channel=BBC

I know it's been rough and you're struggling to trust and be honest but hopefully, you will slowly get there again @Captain24 ❤️ we're all here for you

And another thing I do to bring myself back to the moment is using ice on my face for a couple of minutes - it's good for skin care and regulates the nervous system too

[Captain24]

Thanks @lavenderhaze. That was really sweet. It bought a tear to my eye.

Yeah honesty and trust are really hard right now. I’m really scared to let go. I can’t be honest with anyone because of the fear. But to move forward I need to be, so I’m kinda stuck and have to figure it out on my own. I don’t think I have the strength to do that. 

I’ll try the ice.

[Captain24]

Sorry @NatureLover @Snowie 

Ive been a bad friend and haven’t checked on either of you. 

It’s ok though, as once the new guidelines kick in I’ll be kicked off anyway.

[Bow]

Intrigued by what you mean about the new guidelines @Captain24 

[Snowie]

No need to be sorry @Captain24 

Sometimes we need to concentrate on us.

I'm sure you won't be kicked off hon.

[Captain24]

On the main page of the forums, scroll down to where topic Tuesday usually is and the proposed guidelines are there @Bow 

[Captain24]

For anyone that has been following along. Yes it is really bad. But please no emails. I’m going to try and go to sleep without meds. I don’t need to be stressing about that as well.