Something’s not right
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06-07-2019 10:19 AM
06-07-2019 10:19 AM
Re: Loneliness
@Former-Member sorry to hear you are so unsupported by family. I was too for many years - but a different situation from yours. I was also a single mum, and my child was an only child so I can relate to that and know how hard it can be going it alone. But also how special the bond is between 1 adult 1 child families.
I also cut contact with my family for years, and even having some contact now I have to maintain strict boundaries with most of them, otherwise they can trigger me too much. e.g. I never see my mother alone any more. She denies my reality, changes what she says is the truth of the past, and even told me she lies sometimes.
The loneliness is hard. This last year is the first time in decades that I've joined a couple of activities in the community and met some new people. I went to bridge lessons and do water tai chi. It took ages to find things I wanted to do, and I did them with support (I have NDIS support workers). There is also something called 'Meet Ups' that has all sorts of groups. And a lot of libraries have things like computer groups, book groups etc. Community centres are a good place to find out what's on too, and notice boards that even supermarkets have these days. Just some ideas for you.
It's hard to overcome social phobia and stigma, takes practice, but I just want to say there is hope. It's still a learning time for me, and I have setbacks some days, but it is getting a bit easier. Despite being a natural introvert, which it's ok to be.
Take care and hope today is a peaceful one for you.
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06-07-2019 07:05 PM
06-07-2019 07:05 PM
Re: Loneliness
@Former-Member I replied to you again earlier but my post seems to have disappeared. No idea why. No indication from @Former-Member s that there was a problem. Sorry but I'm not able to repeat it all now. Had some tips about dealing with loneliness and having boundaries with family members. Wondering if you saw a notification about it?
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06-07-2019 07:07 PM
06-07-2019 07:07 PM
Re: Loneliness
lots of hugs @Former-Member , we arehere for you my friend xoxo
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06-07-2019 07:13 PM
06-07-2019 07:13 PM
Re: Loneliness
Hey @eth
Sorry not sure what happened earlier, I found your post an approved it 🙂
-LouLouMagoo
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06-07-2019 07:18 PM - edited 06-07-2019 07:23 PM
06-07-2019 07:18 PM - edited 06-07-2019 07:23 PM
Re: Loneliness
Hi @LouLouMagoo is it possible to retrieve it somehow? EDIT : thanks I can see it now.
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06-07-2019 07:28 PM
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07-07-2019 07:04 AM
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07-07-2019 07:30 AM
07-07-2019 07:30 AM
Re: Loneliness
@eth I just saw your missing reply, we have much in common. I am so blessed to have a close bond with my son, and that he feels safe to express his feelings with me. That did not exist in my family, so I have changed a generational pattern there. I need to remind myself how huge that is and not be so hard on myself. Before he went to work yesterday, we had a chat. I told him that he doesn't have to perform at optimum level all the time, it's OK to just get the job done rudimentarily when he's feeling low. Just get through the shift and to catch any negative self talk and gently shoo it away, that is self care. He came home and said he actually had a good shift, helped a lady configure her new laptop and she complimented him. It shows him not to judge things based on a bad experience.I'm learning that too. I was confused about what NDIS could do, so thankyou for that info. I will email them today to set up an appointment and ask for assistance with social engagement. I think I'm ready to do that now, I'm also considering doing a course that would hopefully lead to work. A job would be nice, something I can manage. I could never speak to my mum about feelings, she use to call me crazy. She was killed by a drunk driver when I was 21, I had mixed feelings about it. I was devastated but I didn't really cry or grieve. I was just shut down for so long I couldn't access my emotions. It still feels like a dream really. Trauma is a complex thing.
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07-07-2019 07:36 AM
07-07-2019 07:36 AM
Re: Loneliness
@Shaz51 thankyou! Many hugs from me to you. How are you travelling?
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07-07-2019 10:12 AM
07-07-2019 10:12 AM
Re: Loneliness
Hi @Former-Member sounds like you're doing a wonderful job of supporting him. Changing generational behaviour is a huge achievement.
Yes grief can be really complicated, and happens in its own time. It must have been such a shock to lose your Mum that way. There are threads on here about it if you enter 'grief' onto the search bar.
Hope today is going gently for you.