My Mosaic

[Bow]

D is all moody and grumpy @Jynx  probably my fault too 

so you sense your heart beat? I just wish mine wasn’t beating. All I see is a big horrible mess that I made and I can’t undo it. 

[Jynx]

@Bow aww hun, I'm sure she'll be ok. Don't forget about the other factors at play - you don't have to shoulder the blame for other's troubles. Even the ones under your care. 

Goes both ways I think - the sense of heaviness on the chest, the warmth of your hand, feeling the heartbeat, and I think just the psychological component of knowing I am taking this action to soothe myself. 

Even if it was true that you are solely responsible for the 'mess', it doesn't mean it's not possible to move through it and find and build a clean space - inside and out. You deserve nothing but compassion in the meantime 💜

I gotta head off hun. No darkness lasts forever - you will find your way. Here's some extra glowsticks though in the meantime 😋💖

Nighty night hun 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

[Bow]

If only you knew how literal ‘mess’ and ‘clean space’ is to what I am currently facing @Jynx @and there really is no coming back from this. 

[Jynx]

Hey @Bow how are you going today? 

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@Bow wrote:

 there really is no coming back from this. 

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Maybe...it's not about 'coming back from' and instead it's about 'building something new'? 

None of us, not a one, are ever the same after trauma. We will never be the people we were before. But it doesn't mean we are condemned by it. Sometimes it just takes a lil while to figure out who we're becoming 💜

What's on for you this arvo hun?

[Bow]

How do I get my account deleted?

[Snowie]

Hey @Bow 

I know you are hurting and I can't really do anything to help.

But I am here, sitting with you, listening if needed.

[Jynx]

We would be so, so sad to see you go @Bow - but we also respect and honour that it's totally your choice. Whatever you think is best for your recovery 💜

If you want to kick start that process you can email the team. 

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie  i really value you. I hope you know how much I appreciate you. I know you care and you’re the one that checks in- for that I’ve always been so thankful. I have tears

[Snowie]

You mean a lot to me to @Bow You have helped me in so many ways. Probably more than you know.

Please do what is right for you.

[Bow]

Don’t know whether I can say thanks @Jynx  cause not sure I can accept your words to be honest. Think y’all be glad to see the back of me. 
this place has become too confusing for me. You said I could discuss something and then someone says otherwise. 
too distressing. I’ve spent so much time the last few days in uncontrollable tears. Just being honest. 

im heartbroken. This place has meant so much to be over the last years. Your input, support and friendship has been such a huge part of my journey here but that’s all just turned to shit. 

im so sorry