Topic Tuesday // How to support yourself while supporting others // Tues 18 June, 7pm AEST

[BlueBay]

Ok @Former-Member 

[eheadspace]

Hi @Shakeelah25  Thanks so much for your question!  I can imagine that it must feel impossible to find time for self care when you are the sole carer of a terminally ill parent and trying to maintain studies. I am really glad to hear you have some support in place for yourself in terms of at your local headspace centre and at eheadspace- this forms a very important part of self care, so as much as you can try and continue attending your appointments. Sometimes finding even 5 minutes in your day to make yourself a cup of tea, go outside and breath in some fresh air or just walk around the block, I know it might not sound easy but really trying to do at least one nice thing for yourself each day is important. You may even like to talk to your counsellor about developing a self care plan that is manageable and achievable amongst your busy schedule, hope that helps!

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member  @eheadspace 

Ive had to deal with several people who were suicidal. The first time I talked to some helpline after to make sure I had done enough.

I care for people, I’m very empathetic, people like me, but I often feel like a door mat because I help and help but don’t get help - I’m not saying it’s all their fault because I’m not good at asking for help to start with and I’m very careful to share my story because I don’t want to trigger people. 

Ive been hurt heaps. I’m at the point where I wonder if I should have friends with mental health problems. I’m exhausted and I can’t deal with my own shit. 

[greenspace]

Hi @Shakeelah25 

That is such a tough situation to be in. 

I was a working carer for my mum for several years, then full-time carer for her last month. I was very lucky to have my sister's support, whether long-distance or being there too. Being the only carer is a lot for you. 

Is there a carer's support group you can get to? I found it helpful to meet once a month with other carers who were going through similar things, and who also used dark humour sometimes to cope with it all. 

[Shakeelah25]

Thanks. It is difficult but I can try. I really have to stay home but sometimes scrolling through FB kind of works as a distraction

[Kylie2]

Hello everyone 

I am new here.   Sometimes self care in itself can feel like a burden.   That's because we mistake self care as being task focused.   Instead, we need to consider self care as being frequent choice making and thus process focused.  

[Former-Member]

Hey @Kylie2 Yes I love this notion! Integrating self-care as almost a practice, not so much an outcome driven task. Thank you so much for sharing. Also welcome  

[eth]

Hi everyone  @Former-Member @eheadspace @Adge @greenspace @Former-Member @Shaz51 @BlueBay and anyone I've missed (sorry)

Great topic, much needed by lots of us.  And off to a racing start.  I'll just follow along for now, but want to say I've been a carer at home and at work for a few decades (yes I'm an oldie).  I also have my own mental health challenges.  I think it would be great to talk about 'compassion fatigue' and how to prevent it.

[Shakeelah25]

There really aren't any groups nearby. I usually use a helpline or chat online because my peers don't understand

[Kylie2]

For example, instead of thinking of self care in extravagant terms like getting a massage or having a session in a float tank... All sort of tasks. Self care is more like saying no to someone's request, then offering an alternative to achieve that person's goal nut on your terms. Or even choosing to change your bed linen on a particular day so your rewarding yourself instrad of thinking of breaking as a task.