Advice needed

[CJ1]

I have a question...are people not reaching out to me because i give off a closed off vibe?  Just seems like the older i get the more isolated ive become. Im im a relationship with no kids yet i feel like an old couple who dont do much. How can i change this bring our social life back with the right people?  

[AlwaysMyself]

Hi @CJ1 ,

I'm sorry you are having challenges in your relationship and feeling isolated.

I've certainly had my fair share of feeling isolated, ignored and stale in a relationship (also without children). It can be so hard to break the dreary pattern of work-housework-sleep!

Is there any activities you and your partner used to both enjoy?

Are there particular friends that you both used to enjoy hanging out with?

I wonder if a deliberate, intentional, planned weekly/fortnightly/monthly "date night" could help bring back some social life to the relationship?

[NightPixie]

Hey @CJ1, and welcome to the SANE Forums!

Feeling isolated is never a nice feeling... It sounds like you are wanting to get back out there and be social with your partner but just not sure how to do this. 

When you're are in a relationship for a while, you can get comfortable and forget about the socialisation side of things - this is very common! Maybe putting yourself out there with people from work or reconnecting with old friends you lost touch with could be a good place to start?

Also, engaging in social things like starting new hobbies can be helpful too!

Take care 🧚

[Hope2help]

I think in general a lot of people feel others don’t connect with them any more, people are becoming more and more isolated. You are not alone. I think the Key is whether you’re in a relationship or not is to make sure you’re still doing things that you enjoy and learning and growing. What were some things that you always wanted to do and you still haven’t? Is there something you can do every day to make it just a little bit nicer or happier? I used to read my book when I was eating my lunch. It gave me a sense of peace and I do it in the garden to create my moment of happiness every day. Just make sure it is something that you can accomplish within 10 or 15 minutes and then look at bigger goals as well.  Maybe a weekly goal  to learn something or a hobby or fitness regular event. Have a look at some long-term goals as well that you can slowly work towards. I believe spending some time on your own things, and sometimes with your partner is healthy.

We only have one life so it’s really important we bring as much joy to our life as we can. I hope this helps