Hey,
I’m not really sure how to start this but I need to say something. I’m feeling really lost and emotionally drained right now. I’m autistic, have ADHD and BPD, and I’ve been in a bad place mentally for a while. I still get up and go to work every day, but it feels like I’m just going through the motions. I feel empty and tired underneath it all.
A few months ago I went on a trip and met someone I really clicked with. We talked heaps after the trip and I started to feel hopeful for the first time in ages. We’re both non-monogamous and I planned a trip to go see him later this year. Partly because I needed a break and partly to spend time with him.
Lately though, he’s become really distant. He’s overseas right now and barely replies. I keep trying to message or start conversations but he just leaves me on seen. It’s messing with my head more than I thought it would. I don’t know if I misread everything or if he’s just not interested anymore but didn’t want to say it. It feels awful and I can’t stop thinking about it.
It’s brought up a lot. Rejection sensitivity. Feeling like I’m too much or not enough. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I want or what I even like. It’s like I’ve completely lost my sense of self and I’m stuck in this fog I can’t get out of.
If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice I’d really appreciate hearing from you.
Thanks for reading.
