Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Frangipani21]

I'm new here and I'm desperately hoping through the use of this forum I can find some people in similar situations so I don't feel so alone. I have a 15 year old daughter who, while not formally diagnosed, is being treated for BPD. Over the past 2 years I have seen my beautiful daughter deteriorate into someone I'm not sure I even know anymore. Due to her self harming and prior physical violence she was removed on a VCA from the house and put into foster care while we could get assistance for her (and my two younger children who witnessed some distressing situations). Everything seemed to be going great, she has returned to our home 5 days a week for the last few weeks but now she has returned to using cannabis, which to her is her way of dealing with her anxiety, but comes with increased irritability and difficulty trying to reason with her. I have been so stressed and anxious that I have become extremely reactive which isn't helping the situation. Emotionally I am exhausted and dont know how much more I can give. I'd do anything to help her but she makes me out to be a horrible person. She constantly lies and is very manipulative. Is there anyone here that has a similar story?

[Martie]

I have a 16 year old daughter with significant mental health issues and whilst our situation is not the same as yours, I feel your anguish as a mother. It is utterly soul destroying when you are giving every fibre of your being and it still doesn't seem to be enough.

You definitely are not alone, and I hope you will find incredible support and compassion on this forum. Some days it may be the difference between total despairing and just keeping your head above water.

[NikNik]

Hi @Frangipani21 - welcome to the Forums.

I'm not sure if you saw the other night, we ran a Topic Tuesday for carers who have a loved one with BPD. If you want to check that out, you can find it here

Just to add to what @Martie has said, you must be exhausted.

While making yourself a priority in these types of situations may seem counter intuative, self care is needed for survival. Each day may throw you unexpected curve balls, but the one thing you can control is how you take care of yourself.

There's a great thread you might want to have a look at 'No time for self care? Here's a 5-step guide for busy people'

As Martie said, you aren't alone. If you type 'BPD daughter' or just 'daughter' into the search bar at the top of the page (on ipad and desktop versions of the forums) you will see how many people are in the same boat. 

Please keep on posting and using this Forum as a resource to find a listening ear.

Take care