I need help

[Dark_Olena]

My mind has gone from A straight to Z in terms of panic and anxiety and thinking. I'm always on alert for feeling safe. I always feel paranoid and right now all i want to do is research to feel safe. My husband booked us 5 nights along the eastern coast, likely travelling a notorious highway. I watched a documentary last night and 67 women since the 70's have disappeared never seen again. Of course I take it all in, it feels like survival mode.

Stupidly, I end in the rabbit hole of social media. How truthful are people on social media, do they speak lies or truth and has it been hyped majorly? I need a break from my mousewheel of a life, Groundhog Day. This coastal place looks like a dream. I'm in fright and flight mode. All I can do in manic mode is google whether the dissapearances have ceased some what. I know people will always go missing.  But has media played it too high?

I hope my post doesnt get cancelled. I need some release of my anxiety. I didnt mention places or danger words.  Please help me. I dont want to go on my holiday, I feel sick. I'm screaming on the inside.  Thanks for reading.

[holdinghope5]

Hi @Dark_Olena,

I'm really sorry to hear how distressed and unsafe you feel. I've come across a lot of people, particularly women, who share similar worries to yours. The truth is, the world is unpredictable and sometimes scary - and often researching and learning more helps us gain some sort of control over the situation. You are not alone in your thoughts and fears. 

Perhaps moving focus to what is in your control (i.e. you're husband will be there to keep you company on this trip, leaning on him for support when you feel scared. Maybe avoiding travel during the nighttime, or driving slower to stay safe, etc.) can help slow down the spiral. 

Social media can be quite inaccurate at times, I too can relate to feeling overwhelmed by the things I read and feeling confused. It might be a good time to take a little break and have a 'social media detox'. 

[Dimity]

Hello @Dark_Olena . I'm sorry your fears are overtaking the enjoyment of the holiday with your husband at the moment. 

For me my paranoia seems to increase in the swing towards a manic or mixed state. How would you usually cope with this? Can you make adjustments by slowing down a little, adjusting bedtimes, increasing meds and seeking reassurance (like you are here)? 

Maybe trying to avoid the dark rabbithole of researching disappearances and channeling that energy and curiosity into researching nice spots along your road trip might help a little.

I'm not judging you, the fears are real and I hear you. So being conscious of precautions but trying to avoid overwhelm, and making adjustments might help - what do you think? Take care.

[Lou2u]

Hi @Dark_Olena 

I really relate to what you are going through and your experiences I also get quite jacked manic or however else you want to describe it.  I made a choice to unplug from everything and just work on self soothing and learning to stay CALM and CENTRED it started with rest and learning to sit in my own skin rather than look and fixate on everything else but me and the true things that are important like friends family health wellbeing and learning to live and have fun again in essence the 'good life' via practicing my ongoing recovery program.  Easy NO Painful Yes Worth it Absolutely! 🙂  I had to start moving in a healthy way, work on good sleeping, eating, and the diet of information I feed my Brain think 'junk in junk out' with consistency things started to get better and so did I remember we do and can recover I invite you to take a positive risk and enjoy your holiday YOU DESERVE IT! Remember the start is the hardest part 🙂

[tyme]

Thanks for sharing your experiences @Lou2u . I found it so insightful and helpful!

[Dark_Olena]

Hey @Dimity, I've always had mental health issues, seen psychologists for decades and had enough of the low key wrong help. Can a person have mild bi polar? I think maybe. I feel like I am running a marathon with normal tasks and its agitating and jittery, my head spins in tornado speed.I will stop reading social media comments on docos, not helpful and what the likelihood, these comments are not completely accurate. I am always trying out self help eg. breath work, meditations. Slowing down. 

I have to be able to go on this holiday, because it is good. But the build up is horrendous in my head. 

thanks for your support.

[Dark_Olena]

Hey, @Lou2u 

Your approach, sounds lovely and blissful. I started relaxing just going with those words. I will try and focus on those ways. I detest the news lately, so overwhelming. 

I hope its continuing to help you.  

[Dark_Olena]

Hi @holdinghope5   I appreciate your post, thanks. I'll focus positively on what is in my control. We book a van site with an ensuite. So I will accompany my autistic daughter when she uses the ensuite, never feel great about her in there while I'm in the van, this is usually at night, teeth brushing, skin care etc. I'll feel safer for us, if I do this.