Damaged items and intimidation

[HunterJamieson]

Have a sibling that constantly make claims I broke an item or scratched an item. Knowing the fact they suffer from delusion effects there mental wellbeing.

question is how do you stop them from damaging items, stealing and making fall claims? and how do you protect yourself mentally, physically and emotionally from this trauma?

[holdinghope5]

Hello @HunterJamieson It sounds like a difficult situation to find yourself. We appreciate you taking to time to post. 

What supports does your sibling have for their mental health?

We will also be sending you an email.

[HunterJamieson]

Nothing but according to my parents he has medication and therapy, but seems to me nothing. He sees me as the enemy and it’s costing me time, money and my mental health 

[rav3n]

hey @HunterJamieson it's nice to have you join 😊

i can hear how frustrating it would be to be accused on things you didn't do, i'm sorry to hear how hard it's been for you.

i'm wondering, do you live with your sibling or see them often? do you tend to borrow their items? are there perhaps some boundaries you can set to protect yourself? 

[Sugarshack]

@HunterJamieson hello I can relate to this situation as my brother has schizoaffective disorder. 

I have found around 'these people' you often have to demonstate, like being a teacher or something "that you are absolutely perfect and need to behave in a way to avoid triggering their constant anxiety and delusions". Its exhausting and impossible. They don't trust their own senses and reality, they dont trust things and people within that reality so you can easily get stuck in a game where you are editing your life constantly to avoid an outburst from the person who does not share the same reality.

Then there's enablers around, an example from my life my mother walks on eggshells around my brother and indulges all his delusions so that her little baby doesn't throw a tantrum.

Myself I just wanted a peaceful life that didn't contain daily arguments, tantrums, meltdowns, accusations, domestic violence I turned away from that family to find myself a better life. Note I wanted a BETTER life, I got a better life but not an EASIER life. If I had bought into the situation I would be getting family money and having an easier life. But, the cost of an easier life was too much suspension of disbelief for me and I am happy to talk to my brother on the phone and dispel his delusions, I am not happy to be expected to believe them for my mother's benefit of "my kids are crazy and I need to be intoxicated to deal with it". That's a story I want to leave behind with the family members.

So I wish you well if you have found the line between "your problems" and "your brother's problems" then you can hold onto your own reality and build a positive and contented life from there.

[HunterJamieson]

Thank you so much for that great advice! I agree it’s very hard to be ‘in a rock and a hard place’ however my work and meditation helps me to ease that pain and stress. So, I try to ignore but sometimes they want a reaction, so in hindsight I tend to laugh it off to myself as its ‘his problem’ and not mine.