Feeling like I'm not doing enough

[cozy_726]

Hey all,

So I work a full time job now, its not in my field of study so I still need to search for a job in my field. Though, my field which is in AI is hard to get into as a graduate, and so with that I also need to  build a portfolio of my work.

All of this requires time, and when I come back home from work I feel so tired and just end up sleeping, sometimes I don't even brush my teeth because one moment I close my eyes and its morning. Because of this and the demands I have to meet to get a job in my field, I feel like I'm not doing enough, however my doctor has said I need to make sure I get enough sleep and has even given me sleep medication to make sure I fix my sleep pattern.

I feel so like torn apart maybe?

One side of me knows I must sleep to improve my health, and another side is questioning me constantly as to why I am not putting in the time and effort to do all these projects and things, where sleep is the last priority because it sees it as wasting time.

I try to stick to the sleep side, but I also know that I have to do the projects so I can get a job in my field, but I end up being so tired, so I  would need caffeine.

For me coffee makes me extremely anxious and on edge, but matcha is fine, though I just don't  know how to handle these thoughrs.

Every day I come home I feel like I'm wasting time sleeping. Its just come home, dinner, sleep, wake up, work etc.

So yeah, can anybody recommend me a way to help with this conflict of thoughts?

I would really appreciate it.

Thanks!

[tyme]

Hey @cozy_726 ,

It sounds like your body is probably doing what it needs to? I totally hear you about job searching being a full time job in itself. It can be hectic. 

Do you work 5 days? I wonder if you can break up the larger tasks into smaller goals and work that way? I find lists are very helpful for me, otherwise I tend to procrastinate if I see the same BIG project in front of me!

What I find helpful is that each night, I write out a plan of my next day so I can tackly things bit by bit. Oh, and of course I add incentives in there like going to grab a coffee or going for a walk if I finish XYZ. I find this helps me get started. 

Another thing is (I'm not sure if this is similar), is that after 12 years of school, then another 3-5 years of uni.... a lot of people are BURNT OUT... it's not easy to sustain all this as well as life's pressures. Thoughts?

Anyway, great to see you here tonight!

[FearofUnknown]

First time hearing that sleep is a waste of time. 

I wonder what your thoughts about this are @Rhymster ? You have Insomnia and I have sleep problems. 

I don't think sleep is a waste of time. 

[Alisse]

Hi @cozy_726 

You sound really exhausted 

Spring can feel different for everyone, some of us are bright and full of spring energy and some are still emerging slowly from hibernation.  

What matters most is listening to our bodies and giving ourselves what we need. How we start our day has a impact on how we set ourselves up for everything that follows.

For me, I find it helps to get up early and go for a walk, no phone or coffee, just walking and drinking water.  By the time I get home, I feel alive, ahead of the day and energised by the sunrise.  A health breakfast and I'm ready for my day.  I also make sleep a priority by going to bed at the same time each night, no phone and in a dark room. When I don't get enough sleep, my mental health suffers, I get tired, less patient, and easily overwhelmed, especially when caring for my son, 

I understand the feeling of 'wasting time' by sleeping, but I think society  almost glorifies productivity in a way that overlooks how vital rest truly is.  While we sleep, our bodies do so much to repair and restore, it's an essential process of the human body.

So please don't feel bad for giving yourself rest.  Youre already working full time and managing a lot. Once your sleep pattern is regulated and you're feeling replenished, you'll have the energy to explore new job options and I'm sure this will happen for you. For now, maybe taking the pressure off and being kind to yourself may be the best thing you can do.

kindly alisse

[Jynx]

@cozy_726 rest is not something we need to earn. Sleep is as important as breathing, and without it we won't even have the energy to do all the other things. 

💜

[Rhymster]

@FearofUnknown sleep has it's benefits it just has never been my friend it doesn't visit me nearly enough