Hoarding

[Belinda8]

Anyone caring for someone with hoarding and aging? 

[tyme]

@Dimity @NatureLover @Shaz51 may be able to shed some light based on their experiences. 

I personally don’t care for someone who is a hoarder, nor am I a hoarder (now). From my research, there is a strong emotional element linked to hoarding so it’s not as simple as “just throw it away”.

[Dimity]

Hello @Belinda8 and welcome.

Yes I'm looking out for someone... as much as I can... but it's not easy.

There are different levels of hoarding behaviour... some say 5. Ranging from untidiness and reluctance to waste through intense attachment to any/all kinds of objects through being unaware of unhealthy and dangerous levels of squalor, rubbish accumulation, loss of utilities and isolation. With impacts ranging from being mildly embarrassing to being hazardous to self and others. 

As well as my loved one, I've been on the scale myself.

The superficial question is to intervene or not intervene. (If so, how and when.) Another issue is psychosocial support and nurturing someone who's isolated and who has lost connectivity and self-efficacy and self-esteem.

You've probably experienced all of this. You may also have experienced multiple push-backs and setbacks. 

You're very welcome to share as much, or as little, as you want. The forums are very supportive. Sometimes they can help with problem solving but more often they're a space to share feelings or say hi to others who get it.

[Belinda8]

Thanks all. What are you best tips to support a person post a small reset of one room. Cleaned with full consent and transparency. 

[Belinda8]

I mean emotionally what can we do and say. In following 28hrs

[Dimity]

@Belinda8 I'm so sorry but nothing comes to mind right now. I'm fragile after being yelled at by the person I'm trying to help  who is showing some signs of possible dementia.

Last time I saw them I was shocked by their fridge.  We intervened a couple of years ago and continue trying to help.

It sounds as though your person accepted the help? Do you think they might have regrets? Or do you think it's a good time to keep the ball rolling and suggest tackling another room?

[Dimity]

@Belinda8 maybe sound them out on how they'd like to use the newly cleaned room? And if there's anything different they'd like to do with it? Being positive and encouraging. Hopefully they won't regress but if they have a vision for it themselves it might help.

[Dimity]

Hope it went well for you @Belinda8 

[Belinda8]

Thankyou. Small step taken and person on board. 

[Dimity]

@Belinda8 how did you persuade them to let you clean the room? And did you do it for them or did they help? 

Any tips appreciated.