Living for the quirks in life

[AlwaysMyself]

I'm me, and I'm poking around trying out the forum as I was looking for somewhere I can be myself and discuss "real" topics, share how I'm feeling if I feel the need to (without burdening friends/family), and hopefully also be able to offer encouragement, connection and support to others.

I'm an atypical person in a number of ways, and my mental illness is no exception to that. I've had MDD since before I was a teenager, a chronic melancholy type with some periods of severe mood piled on top. I had professional help from when I was a teenager until the psychs admitted they couldn't offer much more, and it was only 'maintaining' (not improving) my existence. Since then I have used my learned skills to self-manage along with GP-prescribing. Over the years I've volunteered in a few research projects for MDD; one way I can give back to improving understanding and future supports. I find neuropsychology fascinating especially.

The last few years have gotten progressively tougher (physical health and work impacts) and I've been seeking low-cost longterm supports for the past year. Unfortunately I don't fit the usual model and there doesn't appear to be anything in the public or NFP/low-cost sector to help support my mental health. Maybe here can help a little with the feeling of disconnect and desire to "let someone know how I feel".

I like people who are themselves because I love understanding what makes people tick, and what unusual interests or perspectives people have. Unusual things makes life more interesting for me, so I like to seek them out. Travelling to new places is one way I do this, for example.

Interested to meet people and always happy to be myself and share my quirk outlooks on life.

[tyme]

Hey @AlwaysMyself ,

Welcome to the forums and great to see you around.

For your posts, it feels like you've been around for ages - that is, with your ability to responded so beautifully to other peers.

Are you connected with SANE's Guided Recovery Program or The Recovery Club?

You can use any of these services free of cost.

[AlwaysMyself]

Thanks @tyme . @No, I'm not connected to any of SANE's programs, but I might check them out. The issue is usually that I need lifelong support (realistically), and most things are only short-term programs or skills-focused groups.

I value being a supportive person so talk to, so whilst I'm new to the forum I'm not new to listening to peers, being open, or mentoring. I've socially fallen into those roles since I was a teen - perhaps because of my more serious nature due to MDD and my deliberate focus on helping others around me to 'have a brighter day'. It gives a purpose to life.

I might reach out a bit more in a more specific focum topic area with regard to the reasons why, and keep this one lighter. But I've often be regarded by elder peers as 'very wise' - which I put down to my self-reflection since a young age.

[Lapis_Anteater]

Hey @AlwaysMyself 

It sounds like you have a real passion for helping and understanding others. It’s really great to hear! Chronic melancholy depression sound exceedingly difficult to deal with. It’s impressive that you’ve learn skills to self-manage. What have you found to be the most helpful? People are truly fascinating and vary so much between cultures. Where have you travelled to? Is there anywhere you’d like to go if you have the opportunity?

[AlwaysMyself]

Thanks @Lapis_Anteater .

Most useful self-management skills for me, hmm... acceptance was a big one. Being able to accept my limitations - physical and mood. That allowed me to then accept only being able to work part-time and that it doesn't make me any less of a person.

I think another key thing for me was living true to my values, even if other people don't treat me the way I value. Not acting out of revenge or spite. Im not perfect, and sometimes I do say things I later regret, but on the whole it allows me to like who I am as a person. I've always had a "would I like to be friends with me?" test. If I can say "yes" to that, then I can believe I am a good person.

I've learned over the years to be able to sit with mental distress and know that its not harming me. But sometimes I also know I can reach out to people to talk if it is happening too often or is too severe that it could become dangerous. I remember being told tips like holding ice cubes for distraction techniques short-term.

Im still trying to find enough meaning and purpose in life, beyond just helping others. Maybe one day I'll decide to change jobs and get into a helping profession; I didnt go down this path after schooling because people always said I couldn't because of my mental illness. But now lived-experience is a valued role, so things may change.

[Cuddlebear]

@AlwaysMyself  Hey it’s been really good meeting you over at the social chat posts. 🙂 

Im not sure if you are in Victoria but if you are there’s free support through Mental Health and We’ll Being locals. They are being rolled out to all areas. It’s not as bad as other services I’ve tried to use in the past in my local area. It’s free too. I’m not sure what’s available in other States and Territories but I know that accessing mental health support is expensive and many of us can’t afford it. 

Im glad you’ve been able to self manage the MDD and it sounds like you’ve found some ways to learn how to help yourself. It can really help lift us when we need it most. 

I hope these forums can help you connect with people. It’s so important to have that. I’ve found people here to be really awesome and has helped the loneliness I experience. 

I love how you like adventures to travel to places. 🙂 I too am interested in neuro psychology. Trying to figure out what on earth my brain is doing lol. 

[AlwaysMyself]

Thanks @Cuddlebear 🙂 . 

Nah, not in VIC, but Im glad to hear they have a few programs. 🙂 

I went through my area's public health system late last year / early this year - persuaded them to give a Psychiatrist review for medication because I hadn't seen one for 10yrs. But from that they weren't able to refer me to any low-cost programs that were suitable because they just dont have any for chronic support; only for early intervention, education, and crisis-acute. Only longterm is for schizophrenia. 

[Cuddlebear]

@AlwaysMyself   I find is so frustrating that there isn’t free, quality support for those of us with chronic conditions. I have chronic mental health conditions and am stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

Psychiatric support is so hard to access and the cost is well beyond most people’s financial capacity. In Victoria it is extremely hard to the point that it’s completely out of the realm of possibility. Even public hospitals have inadequate staff levels mind you across Australia it’s obvious there’s a crisis in mental health services. 

With the Mental Health Wellbeing locals I’ve been in waiting list now for some months to access a psychologist. The service is overwhelmed by people needing help and under funded. I’ve had contact with the social worker who is a really nice person but can’t do much. 

How did you go with the psychiatrist? Did you find it helpful at all? I hope it was helpful. 

[AlwaysMyself]

Egh. Yeah, waitlist times too! My region has difficulty getting enough GPs and specialists, so wait times are often awhile - unless you opt for telehealth (and whilst i dont like telehealth if I can avoid it, I am glad it is an option).

I waited 2 months for the psychiatrist assessment (which was pretty quick i felt!). Their recommendation from it was "if you have private insurance you could do a 3 week inpatient stay" (but from looking at the programs I dont think they would help as theyre mostly basic group work, and the one he knew did intensive 1:1 support wasn't covered by my fund), and to keep on the waitlist for the free counselling support service that a referral system had recommended (it had recommended psych assessment/review plus this other counselling service). I was on that wait list for the counselling service for 2 months before I got an initial session - and it was totally inappropriate service for me in the end. I had told the referring places repeatedly that I'd had CBT and other therapies/support for 10 years initially and that CBT treatment especially was not helpful because Im a very analytical person and already use it naturally. I was assured this would be other treatment types also. Nope, it was only "light CBT" - so the very basics of it designed for someone who had never used it before. After 4 sessions both the clinician any myself mutually agreed that this program was not what I needed and not giving me anything new (and the program wasn't flexible to just be a listening support; it was a rigid 6 week program). 

I hope you get in with a psych soon @Cuddlebear - and that they are a good/experienced one! 

Im at the point where I dont want to try any more psychs unless they are recommended because they are good with complex or chronic issues and my specific areas of concern. But the public system isn't able to give recommendations of clinicians, and there isn't a good database for it online - so many online profiles are vague or off-putting.