New to this TW DV

[Cappuccino]

I don't know how to go about this. In short I have a stack of mental disorders like autism, ADHD, PTSD and so on. 2.5years ago I escaped a domestic violence situation with my partner at the time being the abuser. I have day to day struggles but my biggest struggle currently is family, I'm living with my parents and my sister just moved in with her fiance and 2 kids. My sister has abused me a lot growing up, she would play sick psychological games on me as well as causing physical harm to me (she doesn't cause me physical harm anymore) I'm so scared of her now though and I do think that contributed to why I stayed with the abusive ex for so long. Everyone in this house treats me differently, I have tried to please everyone and make them like me or at least convince myself that they do. I feel like I'm going crazy, the subtle animosity in this house and then being gaslit into thinking that they don't mean harm. The only person that doesn't treat me poorly (for the most part) is my dad, though when I bring these issue's to his attention he always claims his 'unaware' and 'oblivious' which yes they are his words. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm constantly being taken advantage of and made out to be crazy because I'm autistic. I feel like I'm just hopping between one abusive home onto another.

[holdinghope5]

Hi @Cappuccino and welcome

I'm hearing how hard it is to be in this position at the moment, feeling as though you're hopping between abusive homes. I'm so sorry that you are in this situation, and can only imagine how uncomfortable and distressing it would be to be living with that underlying sense of animosity in your home. 

It is interesting to hear that your father's response has been to state that he's unaware and oblivious. Has this been his response on more than one occasion or has he seemed more receptive after you brought this to his attention? 

It's great that you've felt able to reach out here and I hope that this can be a safe, supportive environment for you. I'm also wondering if you've thought about reaching out to other services who specialise in family violence and respectful relationships, such as 1800Respect, or SafeSteps? Talking to someone might even help you to feel more validated in your experience which can important when you're feeling gaslit

Again, I hope the forums can be a space where you feel safe and heard. Thanks for being here 

[unreal]

@cappucino 

I hear you. Your description of your home life sounds quite similar to my own.

I wish I could offer some useful advice but I'm feeling quite blank right now. 

I guess I just wanted you to know your being heard.