Things are getting hard, could use advice 🙏💕

[Elsie07]

Heyy

Im not sure if anyone is going to see this but Ive found myslef here i guess becuase I genuinely dont know if I can do it anymore haha. Im turning 18 in a few days and instead of being excited all I feel is nauseous and afraid amd like i wish i could just skip over it . My dad isn't going to be here for my birthday becuase he recently get taken away by the police and we have a restraining order. Id say im not sure why it bothers me becuase he was usually awful on birthdays but i know its becuase even thkugh he hurt us hes still my dad and a chuldish part of me wishes i could have my dad there with me when i start adulthood and hed  give me a hug and tell me he was proud of me or whatever corny shit dads do in the movies haha. I dont ever really talk to anyone about how im feeling to be honest  becuase I dont like to make myself an nuisance or worry my brothers or my mates. Im just so so tired, and i ache inside ...does anyone else feel like that? Like you wish you could just go to sleep for a long while just kinda dissapear haha. Im reaching out cos im starting to get angry really easy and its bad becuase im meant to be the one who keep every one happy and calm when everything is shit haha but I cant do thst becuase all I want to do is stay in bed and every little thing annoys me and I just dont have the energy to listen and help when people need my support. It sounds gross but i dont even have the energy to shower or brush my teeth ( but i drag myslef to do it anyway)  i dont want to eat or i eat half the fridge  and my mates are like my family and they always help in the darker periods just by hanging out with them but i dont even have the enenrgy to hang with them. I feel so stuck and hopeless and just like im kinda clawing at the walls of a box and no one can hear me haha sounds really dramatic I know sorry Im not really expecting anyone to reply but I thought it was worth a shot haha. So yeah thats me 🫶🤸‍♀️

[NightHedgehog]

A warm welcome and thanks for sharing your experiences with the community! ✨

  

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot in your family and with your mental health at the moment.  Birthdays are not always the easiest of times, but 18 is a bit of a landmark one that the people in our lives usually acknowledge, so its valid to have wanted your Dad to show up in a certain way that would be meaningful for you, even if that’s not been your experience with him before. 

It takes courage to share your experiences with the community, and you are being really brave reaching out to your peers – especially since you mentioned that you don’t really talk to people about how you are feeling and that you like to be supportive of the people in your life.  But having your own struggles doesn’t make you a nuisance – you are human and we all need support sometimes!  You deserve to be supported as much as everyone else (even if taking that first step to talk about it can be difficult or uncomfortable), and its important to care for your own wellbeing so that you have that energy and capacity to support others if you choose to. 

I can hear how hard and tiring things have been lately, and that its starting to have a pretty big impact on your life.  It’s great that you have come here to share a little about what is happening and I hope you are able to chat with other supports as well – I can leave a couple resources below that can offer you a space to chat with someone one on one to get some support if that would be helpful:

BeyondBlue https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor
Kids Helpline (ages 5-25) https://kidshelpline.com.au/

 I'm sure that the community will have some insights to share with you soon! Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already! 

  

Take care 🍁

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Elsie07 thank you for posting here and I hope the above response was helpful. Unfortunately, the SANE forums are only for those 18 years and older. I do hear that you are very close to this date, so for now I will just put a lock on replies for this post until your birthday.

If you need support in the meantime, I'll share some resources here which are specifically designed to support young people:

• You could talk to your GP or a trusted teacher at school
• ReachOut.com (youth mental health service) — online help
• headspace (ages 12-25) — call 1800 650 890
• Kids Helpline (ages 5-25) — call 1800 55 1800
• Lifeline — call 13 11 14
• Suicide Call Back Service (all ages) — call 1300 659 467
• Head to Health - for advice, assessment and referral into local mental health services – call 1800 595 212 from 8:30am to 5pm on weekdays (public holidays excluded)

Thanks for understanding, we'll talk to you soon

Take care