Managing boundaries and triggers with friends.

[Tarmac_6]

Just an update @tyme @MJG017 @rav3n, I was honestly feeling so overwhelmed and panicky when I got home from work so I sent her a message saying that I just need a night to myself but I’m here if she needs me. I know it’s not perfect and it’s not making me feel like a great person but I think it’s something I have to do for myself. 

[tyme]

Good on your for setting those boundaries @Tarmac_6  and being able to communicate this. When you first set boundaries, it may be a bit rocky, but if you are consistent, then we hope it will only get easier @Tarmac_6 

[MJG017]

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@Tarmac_6 wrote:

Wow @MJG017, I really appreciate that message. Do you think I need to have an honest conversation with her and ask maybe like how would be the best way for me to tell her I need some space? Thankyou for your validation. 

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So i just saw the 2nd page and saw that you've told her.  I know it couldn't have been easy... at all!  But i think it's really important that you did.  Hopefully she reacts well, and understands.  But it may take some time.  Hopefully she sees that you are trying your best to be there for her, but that you do need some support yourself.  We do our best to help the people we care about, but at the same time (and i've only learnt this recently) sometimes that help and support is just beyond us, and we need some 'me time'.  Otherwise it just grinds us down until we're no help to anyone.  Then they lose that support anyway.  So by helping yourself, you're helping her as well.

[Tarmac_6]

Thankyou @MJG017, I’m just worried about how my mental health is going to go if I don’t take a break tonight. Hopefully it will get easier, thanks for your help.

[MJG017]

@Tarmac_6 

It got easier for me when I started to take my own breaks.  I found that even just allowing yourself to do it in the first place is a big help.  It just removes a lot of pressure. 

[tyme]

Yes @Tarmac_6 ?

I guess it is about YOU and looking after you because if you don't, who will?

How are you today anyway?

[Tarmac_6]

Hi @tyme, yes you’re very right. I guess it’s just hard sometimes to put yourself first. I’m ok today feeling a little better than yesterday. I think it just made me really drained so after some sleep and time to myself I’ve been good.

[tyme]

Hang in there my friend @Tarmac_6 . I guess when you are not used to looking after yourself, it can be very draining! Way to go that you've put some of those boundaries in place. I hope it only gets easier from here 🙂

[rav3n]

hey @Tarmac_6 just caught up on this thread, and i'm so proud of you for letting your friend know that you needed the night off! i absolutely hear you on how scary and uncomfy it can be to set boundaries - it's still something i'm not 100% with, but with practice it does get much easier (and you'll start feeling a lot better too). 

we all need some time and space to get our energy back, it's a very human thing. so keep going, take your time and be kind to yourself. you've got this 💙

[tyme]

How are things going for you @Tarmac_6 ? Been travelling okay?